The everyday pill taking was mindless. Pop in, gush with water. Go about my day until I was drained enough to pass out.

Making the choice to take medication clarified the existence of my agency, yet it ironically diminished it at the same time. I actively chose to recover by trusting medicine. But I also desired to abdicate my responsibility by believing that medicine was all that was required for full recovery.

Needless to say, medicine was necessary but insufficient.

You cannot outsource hope.